The Core Elements of Spirituality and how to embrace them

What does spirituality mean?

This really is the million-dollar question! Just like in last week’s blog- where I was talking about what being a spiritually conscious entrepreneur might mean- spirituality can also mean different things to different people; you might have an entirely different definition – and that’s OK.

At its heart, spirituality is the way that people seek to understand the meaning and purpose in their life.

For me (and I believe many others) spirituality is about our own inner relationship with our true nature.

It’s a personal belief or values system that influences our interest, attitude and outlook in life. It often results in questioning who we are, what we are here for and our place in the world. That may (or many not) include a deep sense of being connected to something larger or greater than ourselves. Some people call this God, others Jehovah, or Allah, personally I find any title that’s associated with organised relation is often emotive and personal to each individual so I prefer terms such as the Universe, Source or the Infinite.

Some traditions teach that there are three aspects of spirituality: relationships, values, and life purpose. All three are inextricably interwoven, each one a part of the other two, but let’s take a moment to reflect on each one.

Relationships

Relationships can be divided into two subcategories; how we engage with others (our external relationships), and how we engage with ourselves (our internal relationships). The former is often a manifestation and projection as to how we feel about the relationship we have with ourselves. Therefore, it’s important to understand who we are; not labels that are defined by our careers, family roles, hobbies or our demographic, but by who we are underneath all of that.

One of my old bosses once asked me who I was – and it launched an existential crisis! After a lot of deep inner work, I did have a much better idea than at the start of my journey, but each and every day I found there were new learnings and new revelations. Our values play a large part in this and we will look at those further in just a moment.

Knowing who we are, and how we respond, is often referred to as self-awareness. Self-awareness empowers us to have more ability to influence the outcome of our life, creating a life that is fulfilling, rather than feeling like we are a victim of circumstances. The more that we are aware of who we are, the more that we are able to grow, and expand. As spiritual beings here to have a human experience, self-awareness helps us to learn from our experiences, question our thoughts, beliefs and emotional responses. This enables our soul or higher self to develop and expand.

Past life regression and Starseed Activations can be great way of uncovering a new depth of who we are. Through understanding experience, gifts, beliefs and values that we have carried forwards from past lives it can expand our understanding of who we are and why we are here today.

As well as knowing who we are, we need to consider how we treat ourselves. When you talk to yourself do you use kind compassionate words? Do you encourage yourself? Praise yourself? Celebrate your successes and offer a compassionate word if something doesn’t work out as envisaged? Or are you a strict task master, with harsh words, where nothing ever lives up to unattainable levels of perfectionism and dismissing achievements as flukes or luck? The words we use when we talk to and about ourselves are the most important words you’ll ever hear.

Exercise: write down the words you use when you talk to yourself and notice whether you are your own best friend or bully? Would you use the words that you use with yourself in your external relationships?

Whilst our personal relationship is important, human beings are designed to interconnect with others. As I write this in January 2022, almost everyone around the world will have experienced a lack of external face to face engagement during the last two years. Human interaction is important for both physical and mental health, and many are struggling as a result of isolation and distancing. If you feel that’s you, then I’d encourage seeking appropriate professional support. However, what I wanted to focus on in this blog is the personal and spiritual growth that comes from being kinder to ourselves and helping others. A willingness to share what we have; be it time, resource, money or just a listening ear, is often called ‘Seva’.

Seva means ‘self-less service’ – giving without any expectation of reward. Have you ever noticed how good it feels to help some with no expectation of anything in return? There are many ways that seva can be performed, but at the heart of it is the flow of love from one person to another.

Exercise: Focus on how you can give with no expectation in return. What ways can you ?

Values

Personal values are the beliefs we all hold which act like moral codes, they influence our actions and how we think, live and work. They are a framework we operate within, make decisions from plus make assessments such as what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. Recognising what our values are can help to understand what drives or motivates us, set healthy boundaries and be clearer on our personal needs and wants.

Knowing your personal values can help you to uncover or connect with your purpose. If you don’t know what is important to you, it’s almost impossible to understand what you’re being called to do and why it’s important to the greater good.

Values can help you make decisions from a place of balance, rather than feeling torn by conflicting thoughts and emotions. Once you know what is important to you and why, it’s easier to feel confident- with any fear about what other people think about you or what you should be doing becoming irrelevant. The more we understand our personal values, the more self-aware we become (see above).

Exercise: Identify your core values - how are you living, working or operating inline in those values?

Life Purpose

In the Douglas Adams classic, The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy, the meaning of life, the universe and everything was 42. Most of us feel like we are no nearer to understanding our own purpose than we are the meaning of 42!

Life purpose isn’t necessarily about a specific career or family role, and can take many forms, but in it’s simplest form it’s what our soul is here to learn or experience. The type of business, career, or job is rarely our purpose, it’s what we do within it, and how it makes us feel that creates a sense of purpose.

When a client is questioning whether they are on the right path with their business, I encourage them to identify what they get out of it, what lights them up and creates joy.

I often take clients into the between life state during a past life regression, where we can connect with their guides, angels or another form of supportive, loving entity that will engage with us. The number one question people want to ask is what their purpose is. Sometimes we regress to the time when we were planning the current lifetime to seek a greater understanding of the overall life plan.

The answer is never being a lawyer, accountant or therapist; the answer is more likely to be to experience giving and receiving love, to help others, to share their wisdom and raise the vibration of humanity, to experience giving and receiving compassion or to carve a unique path in the world.

Spiritual Growth Comes From Personal Growth

Spiritual growth in the twenty-first century is often linked to personal growth. Let’s face it most of us are not going to give up everything and move to a monastery/convent, so we need to find ways to develop whilst living our day to day lives.

The more we are willing and able to reflect on who we are, as we engage with the world, identify and question what we believe, understand how we feel and learn to acknowledge, recognise and learn from what doesn’t feel good, observe how we respond or react to situations and understand why, the more we evolve spirituality.

There are many tools to increase self-awareness, uncover your values or beliefs and transform your relationship with yourself, including hypnotherapy (also called hypnosis), coaching, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), counselling and therapy.

If you want to uncover beliefs that you’ve created, in this life – or in past lives – I’m opening a limited number of spaces to work with me in March. To explore if we are a good fit and find out how I can help you, drop me a line and let’s chat.

About the Author

Helen Hardware is the Soulful Confidence Coach for spiritually inspired entrepreneurs who want to feel unstoppable. 

Through her unique combination of coaching and spiritual hypnosis to clear blocks and karma from this life and from past lives, Helen helps her client’s to accelerate their business, personal and spiritual growth through self-empowerment.